The first critical step that one must take in engaging in antiracist practices is beginning the conversation. If you have already been a part of a few conversations, congratulations! You have gotten over the hurdle of being so barred by fear by dipping your toes into the emotionally daunting topic of RACISM. But your work is only just beginning, as the journey of being a truly engaged person in antiracism work requires constant introspection, reading, and conversations with others. Of course, these things may seem self-explanatory, but doing these things is a way of leading by example through your actions that breaks the negative cycle of silence that has perpetuated the cycles of oppression that are omnipresent in our society.
As a White cis-gendered woman writing this post, I have often had to overcome the hurdles within myself to be able to start conversations and continue to be an active listener through these dialogues while suspending judgment. I often feel the conservative backlash voices come through in my head, making me have to confront the cognitive dissonance head-on. But I know that those voices in my head represent people I have heard who aren’t aware of the counternarratives of the marginalized voices. All they have heard have been the main racist narratives of history that voices with a large platform continue to spew and fuel everyone’s prejudices. And even if these people hear a potential counternarrative, many people do not want to acknowledge the cognitive dissonance within them. Hence, they just jump to defending their racist notions as if nothing could penetrate the walls of the beliefs they already have. In society, we often see increasingly polarized sides when it comes to any issue, and people rely on their confirmation bias to prevent the dissonance of any information contrary to their beliefs from causing discomfort.
But one of the most important steps in acknowledging the issues of racism in our society is being comfortable with having uncomfortable moments. If we learn how to cope with the discomfort within ourselves and acknowledge that people in the conversation are all human, it will even the playing field and cause us to converse with more open minds. Breaking those dehumanizing beliefs and regarding others to be on the same playing field is how people can achieve those real open-minded dialogues filled with active listening. Moreover, the skill of active listening isn’t something that you just obtain and constantly have; it is something that requires constant attention and engagement in any conversation while being comfortable with sitting in uncomfortable cognitive dissonance.
What strategies can we use to ensure we are consistently engaged in active listening by being okay with confronting the potentially emotionally challenging moments that challenge our previous thought patterns?