We are talking about racism in another class I am taking this semester as well as this one. The other day the professor asked us if anyone in the class considered themselves to be racist. I raised my hand because of the Tatum article we all read at the beginning of this class. As soon as I raised my hand I wished I hadn’t. No one else in the class had put their hands in the air (not that I expected them to) but I felt so embarrassed for admitting to them that I was a racist. I tried to explain why and I spoke about the Tatum article so I do not think anyone in the class considered me to be extremely prejudiced but I felt like I allowed twenty-five (0r so) people to see a part of me that I would rather keep hidden.
Part of me was glad that I raised my hand and said I was a racist because I was able to explain and hopefully further inform the people in the class on racism, but the other part of me wished I hadn’t said anything at all. This other class is nothing like our contemporary racism class. I don’t feel as safe saying what I think or how I feel in that class but at the same time I want to share the knowledge I have gained from our class readings and discussions. I think it’s really hard to know where to draw the line on what to say in each situation I encounter that deals with race and I think that is what makes talking about race and racism so uncomfortable for me.